It may take a village to raise a child, but all too often married working women bear the brunt of familial responsibilities, say authors Sharon Meers, a former managing director at Goldman Sachs, and Joanna Strober, a managing director for the Silicon Valley, California-based private equity firm Sterling Stamos Capital Management. In their new book, Getting to 50/50: How Working Couples Can Have It All, the duo draws from extensive social science research to note that when couples divide familial tasks and companies acknowledge the importance of family, all sides win. The authors maintain that women need to stand up for their rights on and off the job, and the duo provides specific strategies to help couples navigate career and life hurdles.

According to Meers and Strober, many career women get thrown off course by the “bigger load” they assume after becoming a parent. With husbands not missing a beat at work, wives are led to question whether or not they should drop out of the workforce and stay at home full-time. The authors, both career moms, argue in support of staying in the work world, noting that many women want “gratifying careers with a rich family life.”

The Changing Working Family Dynamic

The families interviewed for the book provide a window into the changing dynamic at home for professional men and women, with dads clearly increasing their role in parenting from just a few short generations before. However, the authors are wise to note the societal weight that fathers feel, with career-oriented dads sometimes stepping up and recommitting to their work efforts in a need to “provide for the family.”

The couples interviewed acknowledge that men can and want to be devoted to parenting, and it is nice to hear that today’s dads are now beginning to vocalize their frustrations over their own work/family conflicts. With a two-income “safety net,” the authors say, couples are afforded more choices when either husband or wife needs to change a job, go back to grad school, etc.

But the focus here is on women, with the book geared to moms interested in rising up the corporate ladder or succeeding with their own business. The duo notes that they do not disparage the choice of women who leave the workforce to raise children full-time. The authors say they respect the decision on either end and merely want women to not feel pressured to stay home. However, this seems like a bit of a hollow statement, as the book is designed to sell mothers on all of the reasons to remain in the workforce.

The book is more compelling when it leaves the mother politics aside. The most effective and useful sections of the text offer direct advice for career moms already sold on their choice, with passages devoted to pay negotiation strategies or ways to bridge stereotypes.

The More Things Change

Times may change on some fronts, but there are still some business leaders doubting the commitment of working mothers, the book notes. Meers and Strober acknowledge the “environmental change” at work when professional women announce a pregnancy. The book states, “To succeed, you need to work all the time. To work all the time, you need to be (or act childless).” It’s all about answering emails and booking billable hours around the clock in our new 24/7 work culture, they note.

While the book argues for a strong work ethic, the authors also mention the need for company execs to acknowledge that working moms and dads need to occasionally skip out early for a kid’s soccer game. Family remains central to success on the job, they contend. And, Meers and Strober admit that long work hours and “face time” don’t necessarily translate to productive hours.

The authors are clear about one thing: working moms do need to stand up for themselves when concerns arise about their ability to complete a taxing assignment on the job. Part of that ability to stand up for one’s self will be needed when announcing to the boss a new pregnancy and the terms of one’s maternity leave. The pair acknowledges the obvious stress on both sides—from the company left without a valued employee to the mother on leave worried about “how to reclaim the turf they had before having their babies.” This tug and pull, from children to work demands, can be frustrating, they admit.

Despite the challenges, the authors say there are intangible and tangible rewards of work for women, with the trickle over going to the marriage and the children. Interestingly, they add that it is the salary from the working mother that “can shift the balance of power in a relationship.” It can also be the financial base for the children, if something happens to the husband’s health, his job, or the marriage. The data in the book points to a study indicating that “85 percent of the impoverished elderly are women.”

Given the need and desire for growing numbers of women to work, many of the couples interviewed for the book hadn’t talked explicitly about dividing up household and childrearing duties. The authors recommend direct negotiations on this topic, early (before marriage) and often (renegotiated during the marriage). The devotion to career should be matched by the devotion to the husband/wife relationship. Ultimately, the authors point out that “if you are happy with your decision about work and family, your children (and your spouse) will be happy, too.”